Honestly…

I honestly never thought this day would come. Really, honestly. Who would’ve thought Jesus would come after Sept 13 2010.

Since when I was young, probably about 11, I always thought to myself “Army? By the time Jesus come already la”

Surprise surprise 20-year-old Jarrold.

I really cannot believe that in less than 12hours time, I’d be in Tekong. This information is just too insanely heavy for my mind to comprehend. So many thoughts, so many doubts, yet so many hopes.

The only thing I can really depend and hope in is Jesus. Other than that, nothing is certain.

Whether I’d get a good officer, good buddy, nice bed, all not firm and certain. The only thing that doesn’t change is Jesus, and He is whom I lie my hopes in.

And you know, as much as people tell me, “You’re going to enjoy it”, “Its nothing la”, “Its only 2 weeks”, I cant just turn off the anxiety and whatever. Never thought army would be such an emotional trying process.

Sorry. I take that back. PRE-ENLISTMENT is a painful process.

I came up with this theory. Its better to be in shiat, than knowing you’re going to be in shiat.

I guess once I step into the camp and take part in the stuff, I’ll be less emotionally flustered than now. I am very caught between my feelings, and the hopes I have for army. Hopes in how God is going to use me, and how I am going to thrive in it.

But at the same time, its like “Nun Funk. I rather take the backseat”.

But wow. The things that army does to a pre-enlistee’s mind. I’ve not felt like this in a long time. Probably the last time was when I was transiting into the Secondary school phase. I wanted to go to another school but ended up in Bedok North, and I was very very very thorn between my desired school and where I was posted.

I remember I cried and whined, and begged my mum let me appeal for the other school. I remember such desperation I expressed. Now, I am a man, but sometimes the 12-year-old in me is still whining about going into the army. Begging and crying.

But on a lighter note, I really believe what everyone has been saying. I might even come out enjoying army. Who knows you know?

Afterall, I’ve only heard things about army, and these are 2nd hand news, tampered with by the person’s perspective. I really hope this 2weeks pass by fast.

And, I hope I enjoy it, although people might start mocking me.

But hey, if you cant beat the shiat, join the shiat.

Well, no more pity-party here.

I gotta do what every young man has to/will do.

Inevitable

Impending

Imminent

Don’t cry for me.

Actually, I hope I don’t cry for you tomorrow.

Night……………………….. sir.

-Jarrold