I had it all planned out.
I knew I was going to a place where I could chase my dream. I knew for sure I would start doing some music, and start something I was passionate about in my life. I drafted my schedule according to my ‘master plan’. It was all perfect.
But perfection is never within our reach is it?
Well, army didn’t think so, life spat at my dream, and at that moment, I felt, God wasn’t interested in my dream either.
This post might seem like a “Pre-Christianity” talk, but I guess our human nature fails us sometimes, even though we have God in our lives, and thats why I am in this ‘pit’.
Its really tiring to hope anymore. I mean, I keep wishing, dreaming, and praying that THE DREAM would happen, but I always end up VERY disppointed.
Its easy to get blown off by a stranger, but when someone close blows you off time and time again, it gets really disappointing and it gets at your ‘faith’.
I also hate it that I am always the majority. The commoner. Part of the mass. Another number. I don’t feel special at all. I see people getting their breakthrough moment, and their ‘special’ moment, but I am always one of the majority. The one that is normal, and part of the blur of mediocrity, and of the status quo. If there was a “person A who gets something, person B who gets something else, and the REST gets whatever thats left”, I’d probably get thing whats left. I never feel like “The exception”, or that different one.
Throw a stone in the crowd and hit a random person, I’m probably like that person. That sucks so bad. No one wants to be a duplicate, or mass-made, you know?
This post is a very selfish post, so please don’t judge me.
You guys probably feel me too. Just needed to get that off my chest.
But for you guys who really feel like the dream is not working out, or that thing you keep asking for is not within close reach, keep knocking, because in Luke 11 it says:
5 Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, 6 ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ 7 And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ 8 But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.[d]
9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
